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Are You Nailing This Parenting Thing? 3 Yeses Away

Becoming a parent is a journey filled with uncertainty.  If you can confidently say “yes” to these three questions, you’re doing an amazing job. Take my 3-question Parenting Test now!

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The most terrifying part about becoming a parent is that there is no manual; no rules; no checklist to help you know if you are doing this right. And while I cannot give you a daily routine or an answer to every parenting question in the world; I believe I have cracked the code on what successful parenting looks like.

If you can answer a resounding YES to these 3 questions, I can assure you that you have aced the parenting exam.

Are you nailing this Parenting Thing?

Question 1: IS YOUR CHILD KIND?

Yes, a very basic question and yet, so very important.

It does not matter what grades your child gets. It does not matter how tall, fit or good looking they are. It does not matter how much money they make. None of these would reflect on your parenting skills to the extent that this one answer does.

If you have taught your child to be kind and empathetic – to other humans, to animals, to the world at large, you can heave a sigh of relief and check the first box on your checklist. Nailing this Parenting thing means leading by example. Show kindness to others and your kid will learn the same.

One day, my daughter was waiting for the school bus and it was raining. She was out there picking up earthworms from the road and putting them in the grass. Yes, she got wet. Yes, her clothes and hands were dirty. But these are fleeting moments – she would dry out eventually and her clothes and hands just needed a good wash; but those earthworms got their life back; and to me that was the most beautiful gift from her.

Is Your Child Independent

Question 2: IS YOUR CHILD INDEPENDENT?

Our most important parenting job is to make sure our kid will be completely and utterly capable, WHEN WE ARE NOT AROUND.

We always want to protect our kid from harm. But the fact is that every person on this earth will at some point in their lives experience disappointment, heartbreak and/or hurt – whether emotional or physical. No matter how much we might want it, we cannot physically be there for them forever; we cannot wrap them in bubble wrap and hold them close to our heart.

Teaching them how to fend for themselves, how to get back on their feet and how to make hard decisions, is an essential life-saving skill that we have to teach them. It is difficult for us to not run to their side when they fall of the bike, to clean their bruise and kiss their tears; but we have to do this for them.

Have them learn while you are still watching over them. Stand on the sidelines as you watch them stumble. Don’t run up to them right away. And if they start to deviate from the path you want them to take, you are still here to teach them. Prepare them for when you will no longer be able to wipe their tears physically and give them a hug.

My kids joke that they hear my voice in their heads - that is music to my ears. It means that what I have said to them over the years, has settled in. These words will, hopefully, guide them through their Life. With both my kids headed to college, this allows me to calm the palpitations to some degree.

Does Your Child Feel Supported

Question 3: DOES YOUR CHILD FEEL SUPPORTED?

HOME.

Home is not comprised of four walls and a roof. Home is a mother’s hug and a father’s hand on your shoulder. Home represents unconditional love and unwavering support.

Your kid is growing up. They will have experiences outside of the home that they may or may not share with you. I’m sure there are many stories that you never told your parents.

Nailing this parenting thing does not mean that you have to know everything that is going on in your child’s life. Being a parent means being available for your kid when they want you there. It is hard but important that you listen without judgements and sometimes, without offering solutions (something I am still working on).

Your child should feel that when they make a mistake (and they will) or fail at something, they can still come home to you and not be judged, shamed or shouted at. Your child should know that you will help, guide and support them NO MATTER WHAT. And no, you don’t have to have all the answers; but you can help find them or just be there while your child figures out the answers for themselves.

That mutual trust and love gives your child the strength to move forward, to soar and to face challenges; with the knowledge that you will always have their back.

The questions seem deceptively simple. You get about 18 years with your little ones. It is important that you recognize, understand and implement strategies to be able to give a resounding YES to each of the 3 questions. If you feel there is more work to be done, take heart - it is never too late to change the dynamic. 

Treat your kids with love, trust and respect and they will learn to do the same. 

Be a part of this discussion. Join me on my Facebook page and share your thoughts with the rest of the community.

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Hi, I am Richa and am super excited to see you here. I enjoy interior designing so much I went back to study it. Now armed with knowledge, passion and a vision to make 'happy homes', I hope this site will give you all the tools you need to make your kid's room happy too.   Read More...